6 minute read

And now for something… lighter

I started this blog because I wanted to show people like me that it is possible to live your best life following a cancer diagnosis even if, like me, you were told there is no cure (now would be a good time to read my posts on coping with a cancer diagnosis if you havent already). Once I accepted the situation, I found that I was able to both live in the present moment and move forward at the same time. Afterall:

When we fear death, we stop living.

I don’t want to stop living. I’ve accepted that my cancer could be the cause of my death (if you believe my oncologist), however, until it’s decided, I’m determined to live well for as long as I can and, judging by the response to this blog so far, which has exceesed any expectations I had, a lot of you want to live well too!

Yes, but what does it all mean?

A big part of living well, for me, has been about living a healthy life, which means taking care of my mind and my body. Making wholesale changes to your diet and your lifestyle doesn’t have to be difficult (although it can be scary), so pick something achievable to begin with because you don’t need to follow a specific diet or join a gym to live well. Eating one healthy food or food group, talking to another person, or just being more physically active is a good start.

This is all about following your own path which is why I’d encourage you to find things that you enjoy and set goals that are realistic to you. That way, you are much more likely to make them a part of your daily life. You might be surprised how much more fulfilling you find life just after a few simple changes.

One of the biggest benefits I found, other than being more healthy, was that it gave me a sense of control knowing that I was making meaningful choices that were contributing to my overall well-being so one thing you might find helpful is to make a list of the things you want to do (sometimes called a bucket list). You can write it down, or mine is just in my head.

This is an opportunity to do some of the things you’ve always wanted to do – or to try something completely new. Ultimately, whatever you choose, these should be the things that are going to bring you the most satisfaction and joy, so be true to yourself. Just a word here because it’s okay if you find the idea overwhelming and, if this is you, it can help to talk to family and friends (or a support organisation) about this.

This doesn’t mean that you have to start jumping out of planes or climbing mountains. If that’s you, or you genuinely find these things exciting, then it sounds like you’re already on your way to your best life – Since my terminal diagnosis, I’ve, amongst other things, visited new countries and flown in a helicopter. And yet, one of the things I love to do most is to go for a walk with my family, especially by the sea.

Life is for living so live it

For me, I’ve been able to find joy in all kinds of different places. I love meeting friends for coffee or going out for a meal with family, and you should try and find time every day to connect with others. I find that these good relationships have been so important to me following my diagnosis. Not only can they provide emotional support, but they can also provide an opportunity for me to build a sense of belonging.

One of the things I’m doing at the moment is renovating our bedroom which was left in a bad state by the previous owners. This is one of the ways I’m able to stay physically active, and I get a real sense of achievement from doing it. It also helps me feel useful, and it makes me happy knowing I’m doing something my wife can enjoy after I die. Until then, I’ll have somewhere cosy and comfortable to go at the end of a long, hard day.

You might find that you’re not able to do everything that you used to do. I’m slower than I used to be and I need to take more breaks. I’ll also often be in pain after doing something physical so part of living well for me has been learning to pace myself and be realistic with time frames. You might also need to realistic with money.

Some of you will know by now that I would love to go to Niagra Falls and New York, and yet I’m choosing to spend my money (and energy) on the bedroom instead. Not because I have to, but because I want to, and if I don’t get to Niagra Falls, then that’s okay (it will have to be). It could be a nice thing for my wife and daughter to do together one day. I focus on the things I do have in my life and not the things I don’t.

Even this blog, which I started to help others, is helping me to get the most out of life and learning new skills, especially something that you find challenging, can be good for mental health. I haven’t worked since my diagnosis, and so I have a lot more time on my hands to try some of those hobbies I’d been putting off. Since I radically changed my diet, I also have to learn how to prepare healthy meals using mostly just plant-based foods (more on this coming soon).

Life’s for the living (so live it)

Song by Passenger (2012)

I don’t need anyone telling me I’m living my best life because I already know I am. I’m no longer interested in the so-called ‘best lives’ that are often presented on TV or social media. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t show off how great your life is. It just means that you should truly believe that it is great. If you’re not sure, then ask yourself (and be honest):

How happy, healthy and fulfilled do you feel right now?